


Boys' Night Out

by hobbitsdoitbetter



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Gen, Magic, Mama Rocket, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, disfunctional friendships, hair related jealousy, muppetry of the penis, nobody tell gamora, seriously lads, she will kick everyones arse, stephen and wong are so done, thor and starlord need to work through some stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbitsdoitbetter/pseuds/hobbitsdoitbetter
Summary: Stephen Strange and Wong are summoned to a karaoke bar to break up the dumbest, most epic hair-pulling contest on the planet.Neither of them are impressed, and Bucky really should know better...
Relationships: Rocket Raccoon & Guardians of the Galaxy Team, Stephen Strange & Wong
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Boys' Night Out

_Disclaimer: This fanfic is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended. Not beta read, so all mistakes are mine. I would apologize to Stephen and Wong for what I'm about to put them through, but I really don't want to. Enjoy!_

* * *

**BOYS' NIGHT OUT**

* * *

_Knight Moves Karaoke Bar and Grill_

_Saturday Night_

“No good can come from knowing how this happened.”

And Wong turns to Stephen Strange, expression certain that the Sorcerer Supreme agrees with him (which said Sorcerer Supreme most certainly does not). Nevertheless Stephen schools his expression and steadily- shrewdly- eyes the group before him: Thor, Peter Quill, Drax, Rocket and, inexplicably, Bucky Barnes.

They’re each hanging in mid-air, caught in the act of throttling one another but now unable to move as “ _[Love on Top](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob7vObnFUJc)_ ,” by Beyoncé booms out in the background.

Apparently they have been there for at least fifteen minutes.

Previous to that, they had been belting out karaoke tunes for at least three hours.

That they are being held in this position by magic is obvious; Stephen can see the pink, purple and green sparks of energy from here. The fact that they’re actively disobeying the laws of physics is also kind of a giveaway.

Just how they came to be thus trapped is less apparent however: none of this group have, to Stephen’s knowledge at least, any magical ability, let alone the sort that could cause what he sees before him-

“Look, are you gonna let us down or what? I gotta see a guy in Flushing about a nuclear reactor.”

This from Rocket Racoon who is, of all of the ensorcelled group, apparently the one least invested in beating up the other Guardians of the Galaxy.

Stephen is genuinely surprised by this.

“Shut up, man!” Quill snaps. “He lets us down-“

“He lets us down and Gamora finds out you got into it with her honeybun there,” Rocket crows, gesturing with his snout to Thor, who grins beatifically- Because of course he does. “Man, you are so whipped-“

“I am _not_ whipped,” Quill pouts. “And Thor is _not_ her honeybun-“

“Indeed not,” the former Prince of Asgard says, still smiling beatifically, which makes even Stephen kinda wanna thump him. “We are merely comrades in arms, nothing more,” Thor continues and the Asgardian actually bats his eyelashes innocently, making Stephen definitely wanna thump him. (From what he has learned of Thor, that’s quite a common reaction.)

Drax, Rocket and Barnes all roll their eyes.

Quill starts trying to throttle Thor again and Thor retaliates by pulling Quill’s hair.

“Enough!”

Stephen raises his hands for silence, making his voice boom with power in a way which is both ridiculously theatrical and surprisingly effective with non magic users. (The only thing it’s gonna do to another Sorcerer is make them ask if his surname is Riddle). “Tell me what happened here,” Stephen intones, “and I’ll let you all down.

“Lie to me and I’ll call Gamora to pick you all up. You can explain it to her.”

This causes another round of loud protestations, even as Wong quietly leans in and inquires where in Hell Stephen expects to get Gamora’s contact details from?

Stephen thinks that should be obvious. “She does Pilates with Clea and Wanda when she’s planet-side,” he says. “Ororo organises it.” A frown. “Don’t you get the group email?”

Wong informs him irritably that he does not and Stephen promises to CC him in on the next one. He then gestures, cocooning the group before him as well as himself and Wong in a small pocket-sized quiet zone where they can speak confidentially.

Something tells him that whatever the outcome of tonight, it will be Need To Know.

The Guardians of the Galaxy and Barnes exchange looks at the sudden silence and realise (belatedly) that Stephen is Not Kidding. They also have the good sense to understand that this is not a good thing. So-

“Ok,” Barnes begins, “you see the thing of it is-“

“Quill is pathetic and he seeks an equally pathetic mate,” Drax speaks confidently over him. “The mate he has chosen is Gamora, who is not naturally pathetic and is therefore courting Thor. This has caused problems.” He shrugs. “This outcome was easy to foresee, when a pirate and an angel have a child and he comes to live on your ship.”

Stephen blinks. “Ok, I’ll go with that.” _I won’t ask for clarification but I’ll go with it._ “But how did that lead to this?”

And he gestures to their floating state.

Also, kinda, the karaoke bar.

Rocket sighs like a martyr. “Nebula said that if Thor and Quill didn’t stop ragging on each other then she was gonna blow ‘em out an airlock,” he says. “Not like we woulda minded but hey, that’s a lot of trouble and I don’t like Groot seeing stuff like that at his age, you know?”

Drax and Barnes nod in sympathy.

Thor and Quill start trying to pull each other’s hair again.

“So we compromised,” Rocket continues. “Mantis suggested we have a, whatayacallit? Oh yeah, a “bardic contest,” to work through all the manly-man aggression.”

“Basically,” Barnes puts in, “the idea was that they’d have a singing contest to work out their crap.”

Stephen nods slowly. “And that’s how you ended up in a karaoke bar?”

“Yeah.” Barnes shrugs. “Nebula asked Gamora, who asked Shuri, who asked me to hook ‘em up, since she knew I was in New York… And here we are.” He gestures to their ensorcelled state. “Pete and Thor were getting into it on _[Man In Motion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gho77Y7TcL4)_ \- y’know, the song from that St. Elmo’s Fire movie?”

Stephen does indeed know.

 _It was, once upon a time, Christine Palmer’s go-to singing in the shower fave_.

“And then they both try to hit the high note at the end,” Rocket cuts in, “goin’ for the big finish, and Quill tells Thor to let _him_ try-“

“Which means,” Thor says smugly, “that Quill started it-“

“Which means,” Quill counters, “that Thor was afraid to let these pipes loose cuz he knew he was gonna loose-“

“YOU LIE!” Thor booms, swinging his mighty Asgardian left hook which Quill dodges, leading to him accidentally punching Drax. Drax retaliates by kicking Thor in the balls, knocking him backwards into Bucky who then tries to retaliate and ends up enmeshed in a pulsing storm of fists, kicking, excellent hair and inventive swearing-

“Aaand we’re done here.”

Stephen looks at Wong and Wong looks at Stephen. They might owe Misty a favour but they aren’t a daycare facility and that is clearly what this group needs. “I’ll call Gamora,” Stephen says, “and she can sort this out.” He checks his watch. “I can’t believe I delayed date night for this,” he mutters, pulling out his cell as he and Wong exit the bar. “Clea is gonna kill me.”

The bartender, a pretty (and oddly familiar brunette) nods to them as they pass.

She doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised by this development.

“Clea,” Stephen says once they’re outside, “I’m on my way back to Bleeker: could you call Gamora and give her the address of Misty’s nightclub? She’s gonna wanna pick up her boys.” He hears his wife’s warm laugh on the other end of the line, agrees with her that things would be much simpler of Gamora just accepted the norms of her people and married both Quill and Thor-

“They’d have to learn to get along then,” she laughs.

Both Stephen and Thor agree. 

The two sorcerers walk swiftly on, waiting until the streets quiet before they use their sling rings to summon a portal home-

While in Misty Knight’s karaoke bar that oddly familiar-looking bartender grins brightly at her captives. Her eyes gleam emerald as she gestures again, forcing the group magically apart.

It’s the oddest thing but her shadow appears to have long, extravagantly curved horns. Her skin has a touch of… blue to it.

_She estimates she has about fifteen minutes before Gamora gets here._

“First one of you to nail _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ gets free,” she tells them. “The rest are staying.”

It surprises nobody that Barnes is the first to try- The first to try, and the first to succeed. 


End file.
